Maria G. Hernandez, PhD

In November 2009 the Industrial Relations Officers published a study on Talent Management Process for a Diverse Leadership Team. It’s an excellent review of the factors that promote diversity at the very top of leading organizations—executive directors and board members. A total of 47 companies participated in the survey—mostly US multinationals and some of Europe’s largest employers. When leaders were asked what barriers women face when they seek leadership roles, the top three were listed as: [1] Exclusion from informal networks, [2] A leadership style perceived to be different from the one dominant among current leaders, and [3] A lack of visibility to senior leaders.
Let’s take these one at a time. Today’s blog post will focus on what to do if you think you are being excluded from your colleague’s informal networks.

A classic example of being excluded from informal networks is not getting invited to play that round of golf on a Saturday morning or to have cocktails Friday evening after work. Despite the appearance that you’re simply missing happy hour or a sports outing among colleagues, you can be sure business gets discussed and decisions are being made without you. At the very least, your colleagues are building a strong rapport among themselves that will serve their needs and you are not part of that effort. Not a big deal, you say? Wrong. These informal gatherings or the network among fraternity brothers, sorority sisters, or business school alumni can be quite powerful. These networks spell opportunity. If you find yourself in this situation or suspect that you are, act swiftly and decisively.

There are basically three options: The toughest step to take is to confront your immediate boss to suggest that you need to be included in key discussions—formally and informally on projects that your team manages. This is not asking to be invited to play golf. This is about letting your boss know that excluding you from key discussions is unacceptable. I would start, however, by extending your boss the benefit of the doubt by saying: “I’m not sure you realize this, but it appears we made a decision about this new software at the golf game on Saturday and I didn’t have a chance to make a contribution until Monday. I wonder if you see that as a good use of my expertise?”

The second option is to indeed request to be invited to join in the round of golf. Do not do this however, if you truly cannot play at the level that your colleagues suggest they play. The potential for greater embarrassment is just too great. Instead suggest something that’s doable for the group: “Hey folks, I know that you usually play Golf on Saturdays, I’d like to meet you at the club for brunch so we can talk about key projects. I’d like to make sure I join in the discussion and offer my perspective.” Be prepared to walk through the course with the group even if you don’t play golf as they may want to insist on continuing the conversation on the course. This puts your colleagues on notice, but shows you can compromise and yet allows them to remain true to their plans and integrate you into those plans.

The last option is to suggest a different informal gathering that you can manage or host or both. It may be as simple as: “I know that there was a golf game scheduled for this Saturday and it looks like this is a key time for informal dialogue on the software project. I would like to be included in the discussion and I wonder if we could schedule a different venue for this so that I can participate? I’m happy to make reservations for dinner at the club. If you are genuinely interested in an alternative sport or event, you may suggest a different activity. But be mindful you want to be able to conduct business. While you may personally enjoy watching hoops, it may be hard to have a conversation at the arena during the game. Choose something that lets you get down to business and puts you in a favorable light. There’s no easy way to get invited to “play” but you don’t need to accept the situation without letting your colleagues know you wish to have your say.